I’m in the doghouse

OK, technically that’s my house, also known as my “cat condo,” but if you catch my drift, you’ll understand that I’m in trouble. You see, I haven’t been feeling myself lately, so I’ve developed a new habit: I start crying during the night at various intervals, typically 1 a.m., 3 a.m. and 5 a.m. Needless to say, Those Two are not happy about this.

The issue came to a head recently, when Mama C was on a three-week trip to New England to visit family and friends, and Mama G was stuck at home with me. Mama G had hoped to use her time alone to work on a writing project, but I left her so sleep-deprived that she couldn’t think straight! I’m not saying that like I’m proud of it — I’m not.

Mama G tried various measures, such as blocking off the stairs one night with an inflatable mattress. Seriously? I knocked that over in short order! About three nights in a row, when she was really at her wit’s end, she shut me in the downstairs bathroom with my cat condo and some food and water. But then she felt guilty after going back upstairs to bed, and thought she could still hear me crying, even though I probably wasn’t. She was eventually in such bad shape that she swore she could hear me crying even when she wasn’t home! Yes, I had achieved the ultimate obnoxious cat move — I was now in her head!!

Before Mama C returned, Mama G hauled me off to the vet to see if there was some medical reason for my behavior, and $474 worth of testing later, the vet concluded that there probably was. I won’t go into details here, but let’s just say getting old is not fun.

Once Mama C returned, I was a little better, skipping the 1 a.m. awakening, at least. But still, humans need their sleep, too, even if it is just a paltry seven hours, and I know something has to give here.