#CatsToo

As many of you ladies out there know, there’s nothing more unsettling than being groped by some creep whom you showed no interest in. Although I’ve obviously never been in that exact situation, I can kind of relate because recently Those Two have started grabbing what they thought was my abdominal fat and shouting “Belly Man!” while giggling away. It was pretty humiliating, you know?

So I decided to educate them a bit and sent Mama G this story, which explains the origins of that hanging loose skin that sometimes sways back and forth as I walk. It’s called a primordial pouch, and all cats have it to some extent. It’s genetic, and its main purpose is to protect our abdominal area during fights with predators or other cats. So there, I don’t need to go on a diet!

My mamas felt a little bad that they erroneously thought I was getting fat, but the new information didn’t seem to change their behavior much. Now they grab me and call me “Pouch Man.”