We cats are known for lounging in the sunshine, chasing it around the house throughout the day until the last little pool of it evaporates. But you know, sometimes I enjoy just hanging out on a gloomy, rainy day. The expectations are so low that you can never be disappointed.
For some reason, Those Two absolutely love Halloween. As for me, I’m not a fan. I don’t like the sound of the doorbell, for one thing, and I’m not crazy about groups of young children shrieking with excitement at the thought of even more sugar in their diets.
The past few years haven’t really brought many trick-or-treaters to our house on Halloween, and I’m guessing yesterday’s snow and today’s cold temperatures mean I’ll be pretty safe tonight. But just in case, I’m hiding anyway.
So, you’re probably wondering once again where I’ve been. Well, I have to tell you, I’m a pretty busy guy, between eating and all those naps and trips to the litter box. Blogging just takes a back seat sometimes. I’m sure you humans can understand, since you’re always complaining about not having enough time to do everything. I can assure you that it’s also possible to not have enough time to do nothing!
Plus, this whole pandemic thing is really turning every day into the same old routine. Like many of you, I’m pretty bored. Which is why I got really excited when we received a promising delivery the other day. The box was from Chewy.com, which usually means only good things to guys like me. I was stoked with anticipation as Mama G prepared to open it!
So you can imagine my disappointment when the big surprise was revealed to be … two large bags of dog food, small-dog formula, no less. Of course we have no canines in this household — I wouldn’t hear of it! So Mama G got on the phone with Chewy.com to tell them of their errant delivery. They promised they would send a replacement shipment to the intended recipient, and suggested that Mama G donate the one she received to a dog shelter. So off she went, some 50 minutes away to the shelter she thought would be the best fit. The shelter was grateful for the donation, but mentioned that they get a lot of donations from Chewy this way. That left Mama G kind of wondering about Chewy’s business acumen, but she was nonetheless happy to have been of help and to be rid of the dog food.
As for me, I quickly got over my initial disappointment and went back to sleep.
As many of you ladies out there know, there’s nothing more unsettling than being groped by some creep whom you showed no interest in. Although I’ve obviously never been in that exact situation, I can kind of relate because recently Those Two have started grabbing what they thought was my abdominal fat and shouting “Belly Man!” while giggling away. It was pretty humiliating, you know?
So I decided to educate them a bit and sent Mama G this story, which explains the origins of that hanging loose skin that sometimes sways back and forth as I walk. It’s called a primordial pouch, and all cats have it to some extent. It’s genetic, and its main purpose is to protect our abdominal area during fights with predators or other cats. So there, I don’t need to go on a diet!
My mamas felt a little bad that they erroneously thought I was getting fat, but the new information didn’t seem to change their behavior much. Now they grab me and call me “Pouch Man.”
If you Google “pets and household falls,” you’ll find plenty of stories about how cats and dogs cause tens of thousands of injuries each year by tripping up their owners. One study found that dogs caused seven-and-a-half times as many injuries as cats. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommends obedience training for dogs to help reduce the chances of injury. Ha! Good luck with that!
Anyway, while I have yet to cause an injury, my mamas have on occasion accused me of trying to “assassinate” them, usually with my signature move of making a high-speed diagonal pass in front of them as they descend the stairs. And now my latest favorite resting place has set off a few alarm bells. But I mean no harm to Those Two. I love them, and they are, after all, literally the hands that feed me. Which is why I am considerate enough to leave room for them to hold the handrail as they go down the stairs. That’s a good practice for everyone to adopt, even if they don’t have pets.
So I guess I shouldn’t have ignored all those messages from WordPress about how the editing system would be changing. Would I like a tutorial? Nah, I don’t need one — I’m a smart kitty! How hard could it be? Well harder than I thought, because as I tried to post today, I realized I had no idea how to navigate this mess!
So stayed tuned, while I try to figure it out.
Well I’m happy to see that Mama C is taking a cue from me and incorporating some serious stretching into her daily routine. Anyone who has watched a cat for very long knows that we stretch frequently, and that helps us maintain our amazing flexibility and agility.
Mama C practices stretching under the guidance of a woman on the little TV in what Mama C calls her “yoga studio.” I’ve tried a couple of times to follow along, but quite frankly I find yoga a little too tame for my abilities. So I just assume the downward kitty pose and relax. It’s fun just to be near Mama C, and I like the yoga lady’s soothing voice.
So yesterday we finally got some much-needed rain, but that meant that Those Two were cooped up in the house with me. They retreated in the afternoon to one of their favorite spots, the bar downstairs, where they proceeded to engage in a Scrabble marathon. (Just for the record, Mama G took two out of three games.)
At one point Mama G got up to refill her wine glass, and was surprised when she came back down to find that her seat had been taken!
O-U-C-H!
Recently I developed a bad habit of leaping up onto the dresser in the bedroom and munching on an arrangement of dried lavender that was up there. Cats aren’t even supposed to like the smell of lavender, so go figure. Anyway, Mama G caught me at this the other day and promptly scolded me. “No!” she said, as she scooped me up and put me back on the floor. This scene repeated itself three times before she gave up and walked away. I guess if you wait long enough, sometimes “no” can turn into “yes”!
Last night I woke Those Two up while snacking up on the dresser. They were discussing my “problem” today, and then Mama G decided to look up whether lavender is toxic to cats. Oops, my bad!
Needless to say, that lavender is now out of reach of even my amazing leaping abilities.
Mama G had a birthday yesterday, and being the good son that I am, I got her a present. She came from a litter of only two, so I figured she can use all the gifts she can get. I know they say it is better to give than to receive, but I have to be honest here: I love to receive gifts! Never once on such occasions has the “I’m not worthy” thought crossed my mind. Instead, I’m sitting there thinking, “Bring it on!” But there is something fun about giving, too.
So yesterday I sat patiently with my present, waiting for Mama G to come downstairs and go out on the patio to have her coffee.
She was surprised and delighted, and I enjoyed watching her unwrap her gift, which happened to be a dish towel with a nice sentiment about me.
My favorite part of giving gifts, though, is when the wrappings get tossed aside and I get to start chewing on the ribbons and bows. It usually doesn’t last long, with Mama G soon shouting something about my intestines and expensive surgery before snatching everything away. She can be such a buzzkill sometimes!
I think Mama G had a really good birthday. Mama C got the day off from work, and Those Two were away most of the day, out doing fun things like playing tennis and miniature golf because they were lucky enough to have been born with opposable thumbs. Although I’ll never know the joys of such activities, I can do other things that they can’t, such as leap onto the dresser on a whim. More on that tomorrow …
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