Maybe a moat is in order?

Whatever happened to the notion that “a man’s home is his castle”? Lately I’ve been trying to lay low and just mind my own business, but it’s becoming increasingly difficult.

Take this recent visitor, for instance:

She came right up onto our patio while I was happily looking out back, then stretched out, yawned, and proceeded to roll around provocatively, all while I was trapped behind glass and unable to defend my territory. It was by no means fair, but I put up a good fight!

Muhammad Ali would have been proud of the way I floated like a butterfly … oh wait, I wasn’t exactly floating, but rather frantically dancing like a cat tangled up in a live electrical wire! I did sting like a bee, however, delivering three quick and powerful right jabs to the glass that ended the symbolic fight, at least in my mind.

Then there are the birds. My mamas are always feeding them, so the backyard is usually teeming with birds. Lately they’ve also been congregating in the front yard, being so bold as to hang out in the bush just outside one of my favorite napping spots, the back of a love seat. How is a guy supposed to get any sleep with that thing bouncing around right in front of his eyes?

And don’t even get me started on the ants that gather around my food dish in the morning! Haven’t these critters heard of social distancing?